Stark Future Press Release:
We are excited to bring to you the world's most advanced kondom to electrify your life! It is more powerful, stronger, and lighter than anything ever invented and will help you last longer than a full length MXGP playing loudly on the tele out in the living room (including pre-race press conference and post-awards).
We at Stark have proudly over-developed a special advanced prophylactic material that is able to stretch around your entire body from head to toe giving you protection the likes that this universe has never seen. But that is only the beginning!
On the fully programmable connected app you will be able to adjust your power output, stamina, sensitivity (both physical and emotional), and with our proprietary friction regen, you will extend your riding session from your usual few minutes to now several hours or even days. The app will also keep track of your session time, lap time, positions, heart rate and even alert you to potential muscle cramps or when you are getting close to finishing. We have even over-engineered our own lubrication system that is so incredibly advanced, you can wear our kondom all day every day and it will never dry out, leaving you Ready to Race at any moment of the day.
Forget two or four stroke - this is endless strokes.
This is the new Stor Ballong from Stark Future.
Hurry up and get your deposit in!
